I have been on the higher end of the scale for most of my life, but now I’m 28 and am the heaviest I’ve ever been. I don’t think I’ve been honest about my weight since I was 12 and realised that, at 77kg (170lbs), I was a lot heavier than my classmates. For curiosity’s sake, I did some maths today and that would put me in the heaviest 3% of my age! Since then, scales have been the place I felt judged, ashamed, unworthy, and like a failure.
At 15 I weighed over 90kg (198lbs) and was experiencing that beautiful tea party that is depression. That was also when I started on my first anti-depressants. Between assuaging my mental health, studying, and holding down work, my weight was not even on my radar. After all I could do everything I needed to, and most of the things I wanted to, until I couldn’t.
First, I noticed it getting trickier for me to bend down and tie my shoelaces. Then, I noticed I was sweating more than usual. Then came fatigue. Next came the shortness of breath. Then the numbness. Then the leg cramps, and the sore calves, then the sore ankles…
This was not overnight. This was years in the making! This was the little girl who fell asleep with a cola bottle by her bed. The pre-teen who could go through 4 litres of sugary drinks or a share pack of chips without batting an eye. This was the second, third, and fourth servings of dinner. The upsizes. The mindless nights in front of the TV. This was the generation of microwave cooking and convenience meals. The steps to sickness began before I even knew there was a path, and continued out of mindless habit.
Sure, I made cursory attempts following fitness gurus and throwing money into personal trainers and activities but the commitment and the funds weren’t there. I wasn’t ready until…
Step One:
Two weeks ago, I stepped on the scales and watched them click up up up.
Triple digits…
112kg (247lbs)
Frick…
So, I cried. I ate some junk food. I numbed out in front of YouTube…
Then something changed. I picked up my phone. I Googled. I got informed.
We all know the adage, “eat less, move more”, but what do I eat? How do I motivate myself to move? Where do I find the time or the resources?!
With more than 40kg to lose (88lbs), where do I start?!
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step" - Lao Tzu
Steps to Wellbeing 